Having Sex on the first date??

Having sex on the first date is like reading the back page of a book before you’ve even started it

The question of sex on the first date is all too often discussed in completely mad terms of female power, like it’s a woman holding some sort of carrot in front of a rampant donkey. That’s obviously not what initially abstaining from sex should be about at all. I am sure you’re well aware that the woman you’re on a date with will want to jump your bones just as much as you want to jump hers. Waiting a few dates before sex is just a good mutual decision to make if you’re both keen to string the thing out. Because the general rule is, the quicker you have sex, the quicker you raise the question of what “you are” and the quicker it’s all over.

Sex takes you to a place of comfort, of knowing someone really well. There’s something fundamentally coupley about having sex. Doing it too soon is a passion-quasher and a relationship accelerator. And why would you want to rush those first stages? When you think about it, the only thing sexier than having sex with someone is not having sex with them. Nothing fills you with lust like getting in a cab home after a spectacular date and lying awake all night because you can’t stop thinking about them.

Plus there’s all the kissing, Kissing will never be as important in a relationship than it is on those first few sex-less dates. Enjoy the electric, adolescent sexiness of just snogging for hours on end -- of pushing someone against a wall and running your fingers through their hair and kissing and kissing and kissing until your lips are chapped. Kissing will never be the main event ever again. If you’re still with that person in five years time, kissing will become nothing more than a signpost that that person wants to have sex with you that night even though you can’t really be bothered and you’ve just put some toast in and you don’t want it to burn and also Jonathan Creek is on and apparently this time someone dies but also there’s some sort of twist.

All the above said, it’s totally your judgement call. I know a couple of rare examples where great love has bloomed out of first date sex. And, hey. We are all grown ups. And being a grown up is hard, man. We need some perks. It is our god-given right to both party and have sex on the first date or indeed whenever we want to. Just be aware you run the risk of killing something before it’s even started.