Boring-Sex-Life and Relationships

Real-life sex can almost never measure up to the passion portrayed on the screen, sex therapist Isadora Alman says. "People don't talk about the fact that it's likely that in an odd position you'll pass gas or the love of your life will take you in his arms and have bad breath." funny right?

Sex in the real world isn't perfect, and it doesn't always end with an earth-shattering climax -- but it doesn't have to. Good sex doesn't necessarily have to be about an orgasm. It can just be an emotionally fulfilling experience between partners.

Even when everything else in the relationship is working, sexual styles aren't always compatible. You like long foreplay sessions. Your partner is ready to go in an instant. You long for wet, sensual kisses. He prefers dry, chaste pecks. "Sex is not just naturally perfect".
There is the energy of a new relationship that is positive -- the excitement and the eagerness and the passion,and the negative is that you bump noses or knees because you just haven't learned how to dance together yet." But even long-term couples can struggle in the bedroom.
Though we can easily tell our partner what shirt we'd like him to wear, or what we'd like to cook together for dinner, we tend to get tongue-tied when it comes to the topic of sex. "People tend to be very sensitive when it comes to talking about sex," They're afraid of hurting their partner's feelings, so they don't tell them what they like or don't like. But you're not going to get it unless you ask for it.

So how do you tell your partner what you want without bruising his or her ego?  use statements like--> "'I would love it if we...' or, 'Could we try this?'
You don't want to make them feel bad about what they've done or haven't done." You can have the conversation whenever and wherever it's most comfortable for you. But before you talk, you need to know exactly what it is about your sex life that bothers you. Is it a question of technique? Personal hygiene? Timing? "Once you know what isn't working for you,"  there are things you can suggest that can mitigate those circumstances." For example, if something about your partner's smell is turning you off, suggest taking a bath together before making love. If you crave more foreplay, ask for slower foreplay into sex. Before you can tell your partner what you want him or her to do in bed, you need to know what you like. "I think especially for women, they've got to explore their own bodies,"  You have to masturbate. Get a vibrator. Get some books. Teach yourself how to orgasm." Know what you want!
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Experiment Together
"Learn to get to know each other's bodies." Try some sex aids. Read books with pictures (such as The Joy of Sex), or watch an educational video together, Not porn, but explicit videos in which a voice-over explains what's happening in the scenes. Sometimes, the problem is a physical one, such as premature ejaculation. Or it may be that the stress from your job is bleeding over into the bedroom and disrupting your sex life. In those cases it can help to see a sex therapist, and then try to remedy that." If you're still unsatisfied, is it ever OK to fake it in bed? "If you're faking it, you're doing yourself a disservice because you're not learning what really turns you on," Sussman says. "I think eventually, it takes a toll. Your partner's going to realize that you're disconnected."

Can sex ever be bad enough to consider ending a relationship over?
Possibly You might really love somebody and the sex is never going to be better than OK. You have to decide whether you can live with that? 
Whenever you're considering a breakup or divorce, you need to weigh every element of the relationship and not just the sex. Remember "You can't have everything in life,"  "If you have a wonderful relationship and you love each other and you have kids but the sex isn't great, maybe you can live with that."
  Every couple has the potential to have good sex if you’re willing to put a little effort into it. "If you're two emotionally and physically healthy people, you should be able to work with what you've got. Not everybody needs to be hanging off the chandelier,you can get better. But you have to practice, and you have to be open to discussing it and getting help when you need it.
I hope this article did help? Am always here to talk to......
#Neemah

7 SEX POSITIONS THAT KEEP YOUR MAN COMING BACK FOR MORE

It always a heated session when your man enjoys something new brought to the bedroom by you, this time around try something new and below are seven sex positions that will keep yout man coming back for more.

1. Woman on Top:
Ask your guy what drives him crazy

in the bedroom, and we're betting he'll say it's pleasing

you. This sexy position puts you in the driver's seat, and

that's exactly where he wants you. Take advantage of

being in control and set the pace according to what you

like, leaving his hands free to roam. The bonus? He

loves having your curves in full view…so flip on the

lights and give him a show.

2. Missionary:
This standard go-to is a favorite because

it puts him in control, while still being intimate: your

hips are free to do all the work, and you can lock lips

and eyes with ease. And while he's in the power

position on top of you, the two of you can set the pace

together. If you want him to go slower or deeper, put

your hands on his hips and guide him. The best sex is

like a conversation, and missionary allows you to

communicate with your bodies.

3. Reverse Cowgirl:
This reverse variation of the

woman on top position is the best of both worlds for

your guy. It gives him the sexy view he gets during

doggie style but it puts you in control. This position

doesn't allow for a ton of touching or eye contact, but

it's a nice contrast to some of the more classic, romantic

positions. If you're craving a connection flash a look

back at him while you're doing your thing—it'll drive

both of you over the edge.

4. Doggie Style:
This rear entry positions puts him in

control, allowing him to call the shots and to go at the

speed that's best for him. Plus, it allows for deeper

penetration, making him feel like king in the bedroom.

Some women love the intense full feeling, but if it feels

like too much, let him know. Communication is key to

enjoying sex and experiencing the full psychological

benefits of physical intimacy.

5. Standing Up:
Getting it on while standing up is

probably not your go-to move, but it's perfect for that

sweaty, gotta-have-you-now sex that'll make him feel

irresistible. Whether he's bending you over the new

kitchen table or you're steadying yourself against the

wall, this spontaneous position is perfect for a quickie.

6. Spooning:
Sex while spooning is the ultimate

intimate position, and a go-to for when you're feeling

lazy and affectionate. Not only does it give him total

access to your bod, it also frees your digits up so that

you can give yourself a hand, a move that's sure to

drive him wild. Make it even hotter by twisting your

body and head slightly towards him so you can smooch

while his hands roam. Afterward you can slip into an

easy, snuggley sleep.

7. The Lap Dance:
Pull up a chair and have him take a

seat while you get on top. He'll love the look and feel of

you straddling him, and having you in control will help

him last longer, too. A bonus? Unlike the standard

woman-on-top position, this ones allows for you to stay

super close, kiss, and make eye contact. Plus, he still

gets to be aggressive with his hands, tugging on your

hair, rubbing your back, and pulling you closer.

To Masturbate or Not???

Up until now masturbation has always been a topic that stirred a whole lot of controversies whether Religiously, health-wise, physical effect, etc......
Like i have always said, whatever action we decide it is up to us and whether good or bad we are the one to bear the consequences, afterall if you are old enough to have sex you should be old enough to own up to whatever consequences.

Masturbation is the stimulation of the sexual organs usually by a person himself, to obtain an orgasm. Though masturbation can be done by partners on one another, the term is more commonly used when sexual satisfaction is provided by self. Most people use their hands to masturbate, but instruments like vibrators and dildoes may also be used. These imitate the movements of the hand and provide sexual pleasure.

Masturbation is a way of releasing pent up sexual energy. Most people start masturbating at the time of puberty. With changes in an individual's hormonal profile during puberty, there is a surge of sexual energy which can be released with the help of masturbation. Masturbation is reported more in males than in females. More than a physiological difference in libido, this may be due to sociological taboos on females. Females also tend to discontinue or reduce masturbation when they form sexual relationships.

Is masturbation harmful?

This is the biggest myth surrounding masturbation. If indulged in moderation, masturbation, on the contrary, is a healthy practice that releases sexual energy. According to certain religious practices and beliefs, masturbation is harmful since it results in the loss of a man's "seeds" and makes him weak. Masturbation in women has largely been ignored in the religious texts. Other myths surrounding the act are that it reduces virility by making the semen less thick thereby reducing the chances of a man to bear children. This is totally untrue. Masturbation does not cause any loss of strength or virility in a person.

What are the other myths surrounding masturbation?

Only males masturbate ?

this is not true. Females masturbate as much as males do. However, they tend to report it less than males due to the social stigma attached to it. Also it has been observed that females tend to reduce or discontinue masturbation once they get into meaningful sexual relationships.

Masturbation is unhealthy – masturbation per se does not cause any health hazards. It is not an unhealthy habit. However, it may be mentally unhealthy if it assumes obsessive proportions and the individual is unable to think of anything else. It may also have physical repercussions if the instrument used to masturbate is dirty or infected.

Only adolescents masturbate – though the practice usually begins during adolescence, almost all adults practise it at some time or the other.

Masturbation does not provide as much satisfaction as sexual intercourse –sometimes masturbation is more satisfying than the sex act. This is because, during masturbation, an individual is in control of his own movements and can maximize the pleasure according to his or her needs. During sexual intercourse, the degree of satisfaction may, to some extent, lie with the partner.

People masturbate only if they have unfulfilling sexual relationships – people also masturbate for self satisfaction, even when they have fully satisfying sexual relationships.

Can one stop masturbating?

One can stop masturbating if one wants to. Just as one can live without indulging in sex, one can also stop masturbating with some will power. However, since the activity has nothing to be ashamed of and most people do it, there is no scientific reason to discontinue it. If one still wishes to discontinue, then the sexual energy may need to be channelised into alternative physical activities.

FOOD AND SEX

If you want to put some sizzle back into your sex life, food can help you set the mood. There’s nothing better than a romantic, home-cooked dinner, featuring some R-rated foods to help turn up the heat. “There’s a growing body of evidence that some of the vitamins and components in foods can enhance sexual function and sexual experience,”

AVOCADO
The Aztecs referred to avocados as, ahem, testicles, because of their physical shape. But the scientific reason why avocados make sense as an aphrodisiac is that they are rich in unsaturated fats and low in saturated fat, making them good for your heart and your arteries. Anything that keeps the heart beating strong helps keep blood flowing to all the right places; in fact, men with underlying heart disease are twice as likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED).

STRAWBERRIES
The color red is known to help stoke the fire: A 2008 study found that men find women sexier if they’re wearing red, as opposed to cool colors such as blue or green. Strawberries are also an excellent source of folic acid, a B vitamin that helps ward off birth defects in women and, according to a University of California, Berkley study, may be tied to high sperm counts in men. This Valentine’s Day, try making dark-chocolate-dipped strawberries. And while we’re on the subject, there’s a reason we give chocolate on Valentine’s Day: It’s full of libido-boosting methylxanthines.

SEAFOOD
Despite their slippery and slimy texture, oysters may be the most well-known aphrodisiac. They’re also one of the best sources of libido-boosting zinc. But other types of seafood can also act as aphrodisiacs. Oily fish—like wild salmon and herring—contain , which are essential for a healthy heart

CITRUS
Any member of this tropical fruit family is super-rich in antioxidants, vitamin C, and folic acid—all of which are essential for men’s reproductive health. Enjoy a romantic salad that incorporates citrus, like pink grapefruit or mandarin oranges, or use a dressing made with lemon and lime.

Dealing with Vaginal Odour

It is normal and healthy for you to have some vaginal odor. However, strong vaginal odor can be the result of douching, excessive washing, wearing clothes that are too tight and certain chemicals in your soaps, among other things. This strong odor can be embarrassing. If you personally feel that the smell is too strong, here are some tips on how to eliminate vaginal odor.

Identifying the Cause

Identify any infections.
If you want to stop vaginal ordor in its tracks, you need to figure out what's causing it first. The most common source of vaginal odor is an infection. This can range from yeast infections, to bacterial infections, to STDs/STIs. The best practice to make sure that this is not the case is to go to the doctor and have them check you out. That said, there are a few different ways you can gauge if this is your problem: If you have a lot of chunky white discharge, you probably have a yeast infection. Medicine for this can be found easily at any drugstore and many grocery stores. You might contract a bacteria infection if you don't practice proper toilet etiquette. Do you wipe front to back or back to front? Wiping back to front introduces bacteria into your vagina and can cause infections. If you think you might have contracted an STD/STI, just go to the doctor to get tested. This is the kind of thing you need to know for sure, for your own safety and that of those around you. There are organizations which do free or cheap STD testing, like Planned Parenthood, and they are very discreet.

Check for imbalances.
The vagina is kind of like a rich ecosystem. Everything has to exist in perfect balance, and that balance can be really easily upset. If you use soap, antibacterial, take baths that are too hot, go in pools frequently, use scented pads, use lotion too close to your vagina, don't change your underwear often enough or use underwear of the wrong material, or a large number of other things, you can cause your little ecosystem to get totally out of whack. Basically, avoid using those things and just be very careful about washing every day with water (no soap!) and wearing clean clothes.

Embrace your natural odor.

Lots of women don't like the way that their vagina smells, but if you ask their boyfriends those guys will say they love it! Don't underestimate your natural odor. You might associate it with being unclean, but....do I really have to tell you what guys associate that smell with? They don't want you to smell like flowers down there, they want you to smell like...er....well...you. If you've figured out that your smell isn't caused by an imbalance or an infection and that it's really just how YOU smell, you should probably consider coming to live with it and embrace it.

Consider that maybe it's him

Certain sexual practices can also cause vaginal odor, either from his bacteria colonizing your body or just the smell of sex itself. Nevermind if you're taking the sexual practices outside of Missionary 101. Consider if this is the reason you smell different and take whatever measures you believe are warranted. Just going to put it out there: putting it in your butt and then putting it in your vagina is a TERRIBLE idea. At least switch condoms between these activities.

Check for foreign objects.

You know, it happens: sometimes you just forget you have a tampon in there. Sometimes the occasional condom (or piece of) gets left behind. These things can cause an odor as your body tries to get rid of the object. Check for objects and get them out! Leaving tampons and pads on for too long can also cause smells, even after they've finally been changed. Change them frequently to avoid that.

Getting In Balance

Stop using fragrant body washes and soaps. It is best to use a mild soap with warm water. Soaps that are too harsh or have too many chemicals and fragrances can actually make your vagina produce more discharge that gives off the foul smell.

Make sure you aren't putting any soap too close to your vagina. You can use soap to clean your pubic hair, but try to keep it away from your vagina. Soap of any kind can throw off the delicate balance of your body.

Avoid using douches to clean your vaginal area. Douching can alter the balance of healthy bacteria in your vagina, causing other bacteria to grow and create a foul vaginal odor. You should douche ONLY if asked to by a doctor or gynocologist.

Eat yogurt. Yogurt that contains live cultures adds probiotics, or good bacteria, into your body. This can reverse the problem if you have a mild case or a yeast infection that is just starting out, and acts as a great preventative measure if you start doing it before the problem developes.

Avoid foods that contain a lot of sugar and yeast. Foods such as bread, beer and mushrooms contain yeast, and the sugar in other foods turns into yeast. These foods can increase the amount of yeast in your vagina, causing a yeast infection.

Stop taking hot baths or showers. This can kill your body's natural bacteria. Try taking colder baths or showers to see if it helps reduce your vaginal odor. Doing this step alone will probably not help you, however, so make sure to take a few other suggestions as well.

Avoid pads and panty liners. You want vaginal discharge to be wicked away from your body, not held close next to it by items like panty liners and pads. Use these only when you need them and absolutely do not use scented products (as these can throw off your body's natural balance).

Getting a Better Smell

Wear cotton underwear. Panty hose and any synthetic material will block some air flow to the area. Loose cotton garments will give the region more ventilation, which will help get rid of vaginal odor over time.

Wear perfume. You can wear perfume normally to generally help reduce the smell, but if you have reason to think that someone special is going down there and you want to make sure you smell great, dab a very small amount of perfume about 4" up from your knee (on your inner thigh). Choose a perfume with a musky scent, as this will most closely resemble your natural smell.

Apply a mixture of tea tree oil and water to the vaginal area. Mix 6 oz. (170 grams) of water with 2 drops of tea tree oil. Tea tree oil is antibacterial and anti-fungal, and will help get rid of bacteria that are contributing to your strong vaginal odor.

Drink 1 tbsp. (15 ml) of liquid chlorophyll mixed into 8 oz. of water twice a day. Chlorophyll comes from green plants and is a natural internal deodorizer. The chlorophyll may make your tongue turn blackish, or your urine and feces a little green. These are common side effects and should not be something to worry about.

Soak yourself in apple cider vinegar. Apple cider vinegar is a natural anti-bacterial. Add 1 to 2 cups (240 to 470 ml) of it to your bath water and soak for 20 minutes. The vinegar should help to get rid of toxins and bacteria that is causing your vaginal odor.

Premature Ejaculations and tips to improve

Premature ejaculations tend to cause alot of harm in relationships/Marriages and this can be linked to what most of our men eat and indulge in, here are few tips to help improve on your ejaculation timing

1. Wear a Condom
It sounds too simple to be true, but it works for a lot of men. Condoms reduce stimulation for most men, which should prolong the time before ejaculation.

Steer clear of condoms that are marketed as extra thin. You can always upgrade to a brand that allows more stimulation later. Some condoms are coated with a slight numbing gel on the inside. This can help you put off ejaculation for longer without causing numbness to your partner. (Just make sure you know which side is where when you put it on.)

2. Apply strategic pressure
With a little anatomy knowledge, you can delay an oncoming ejaculation by applying pressure to one of two spots. Perineum pressure: Pressing on the perineum, a spot midway between your scrotum and your anus, will help to stop ejaculation because this spot reaches through to the prostate gland. It is the prostate that contracts and expands during orgasm and then expels the ejaculation fluid. Ask your partner to apply this loving pressure for you. Testes tug: When a man nears orgasm his scrotum rises up closer to his body. You can delay ejaculation by gently pulling your testes down and away from your body. Your partner can also do this for you.

3. Reduce anxiety
For many men anxiety and pressure to perform is a major contributor to premature ejaculation. Relax and remember that your partner probably cares about more than the timing of your orgasms, and that premature ejaculation doesn't mean you can't still be good in bed. Take climaxing out of your expectations. Instead of viewing intercourse only as a means of achieving orgasm, reframe it as relaxing, pleasurable time with your partner that you'll enjoy regardless of ejaculation. Discuss this new mindset with your partner, so that he or she can stop pressuring you, intentionally or not.

4. Practice controlling your orgasm.
When masturbating or with a patient partner, focus on improving your control over your climax. Stimulate yourself to the edge of climax and then stop. Do this several times before finishing. As you practice, learn to recognize the feeling of getting close to orgasm, and take note of how close you can get and still effectively stop, and when you've reached a "point of no return." During intercourse, use that knowledge to slow down or adjust your movements if you get too close too early.  

5.Change positions.
Some intercourse positions put less pressure on the glans (or the most sensitive part of the penis). Here's what to do: Try "passive" positions. Lie beneath your female partner, or try a side-by-side (or spooning) position. Avoid "active" positions. Missionary and rear-entry positions place the most stimulation and friction on the glans, so consider taking them off the menu for now.

6.Take it slow.
Depending on your personal sensitivity, slowing your movements and opting for gentler, more teasing intercourse can help you hold off orgasm longer. If you find yourself getting too close to orgasm, slow down for a bit, change to a new position, or take a break to stimulate your partner in other ways.

7.Focus on foreplay.
Sometimes "premature" is a frame of mind. Even if your ejaculation comes quickly during intercourse, you can still give your partner a great sexual experience through more extended, intimate, attentive and generous foreplay. Stimulate your partner enough manually, orally or with toys, and they may not need or want a long bout of intercourse to finish happy.

But If you routinely ejaculate less than a minute and a half after beginning vaginal intercourse, and none of the above fixes have worked, it might be time to see a medical professional. You can visit a urologist, sex therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist for help....stay cool