WOMEN -->> PAINFUL SEX

Sometimes your woman might be experiencing something within herself that has never happend before and you will end up concluding that she is giving you excuses not to have sex.
All you need is pay closer attention and help in whatever way you can, women are not just sex objects, they are to be cared for and respected and that why I want to talk about painful intercourse.
Over 60% of African women experience painful intercourse.

Intercourse pain, or dyspareunia, can cause problems in a couple's sexual relationship. In addition to the physically painful sex, there is also the possibility of negative emotional effects, so the problem should be addressed as soon as it becomes evident.

What causes painful sex?
In many cases, a woman can experience painful sex if there is not sufficient vaginal lubrication. When this occurs, the pain can be resolved if the female becomes more relaxed, if the amount of foreplay is increased, or if the couple uses a sexual lubricant. In some cases, a woman can experience painful intercourse if one of the following conditions is present:

1.Vaginismus.
This is a common condition in which there is a spasm in the vaginal muscles, mainly caused by the fear of being hurt. Vaginal infections. These conditions are common and include yeast infections. Problems with the cervix (opening to the uterus). In this case, the penis can reach the cervix at maximum penetration, so problems with the cervix (such as infections) can cause pain during deep penetration. Problems with the uterus. These problems may include fibroids that can cause deep intercourse pain. Endometriosis. A condition in which the endometrium (tissue lining the uterus) grows outside the uterus. Problems with the ovaries. Such problems might include cysts on the ovaries. Pelvic inflammatory disease. The tissues deep inside become badly inflamed and the pressure of intercourse causes deep pain. Ectopic pregnancy. A pregnancy in which a fertilized egg develops outside of the uterus. Menopause. The vaginal lining can lose its normal moisture and become dry. Intercourse too soon after surgery or childbirth. Sexually transmitted diseases. These may include genital warts, herpes sores, or other STDs. Injury to the vulva or vagina. These injuries may include a tear from childbirth or from a cut (episiotomy) in the perenium (area of skin between the vagina and the anus) that is made during labor.

How Can Painful Sex In Women Be Treated?
Some treatments for painful sex in women do not require medical intervention. For example, in the case of painful sex after pregnancy, wait at least six weeks after childbirth before attempting intercourse. Make sure to practice gentleness and patience. In cases in which there is vaginal dryness or a lack of lubrication, try water-based lubricants. Some treatments for female sexual pain do require a doctor's care. If vaginal dryness is due to menopause, ask a health care professional about estrogen creams or other prescription medications. Other causes of painful intercourse also may require prescription drugs. For cases of sexual pain in which there is no underlying medical cause, sexual therapy might be helpful. Some individuals may need to resolve issues such as guilt, inner conflicts regarding sex, or feelings regarding a past abuse. Call a doctor if there are symptoms such as bleeding, genital lesions, irregular periods, vaginal discharge, or involuntary vaginal muscle contractions and ask for a referral to a certified sex counselor if there are other concerns that need to be addressed.

Sex and Self-Esteem

Sex and the idea of someone finding you sexually attractive can be a huge factor in one's self-esteem.

So it's understandable that dating someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction can pose some concern. For me, personally, being found sexually attractive is a big part of my self-esteem (whether that's good or bad.) So how do you reconcile that? I guess you just have to hope that your partner's feelings of love and attraction (sensual, emotional etc.) will be enough to "make up the difference" so to speak. Maybe it will be all for good, and you can separate feeling desired from your self-esteem and learn to not need to feel desired in that way. Wow that sounds depressing but I don't mean it that way. I guess I'm lucky in comparison to other partners of aces I've heard about. My partner doesn't have an aversion to sex, is able to have orgasms and enjoys having it with me. Yet, getting shut down (which will always happen in any relationship) still hurts. It hurts even more considering that getting shut down isn't a matter of your partner not being in the mood, they just don't want it at all. What I feel you need to do is learn how to have sex with an ace, I read that article on this page but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. The reason for this being that it is filled with extreme language and comes across as insulting and insinuating that one simply slip in communication can lead to traumatizing rape that will haunt your partner and give them nightmares for years to come. Okay... Rather than reading some article clearing written by someone who has an ax to grind, have a frank and understanding conversation with your partner and don't make it seem like a) you're insinuating that something is wrong with them or b) like this is some ultimatum. I'm just going to stop rambling and leave with one little bit of advice that I picked up on the ace board: Lots of aces use the "back rub" or massage metaphor when they describe their feelings towards sex. This is perfect because it makes it easier to talk about. If you don't know this metaphor, go ask the ace board. Ask your partner how they feel about it using the back rub metaphor. I guess a common response would be "I like them, but I don't crave them, so I don't ask for them or seek them out." Now if they expect you to understand and accept that, then they should understand your differing views and emotions concerning these back rubs. You could say something like "Hey, I know you feel different, but I love back rubs and I do crave them. more importantly though is that I want you to want to give me back rubs. Imagine if you were dating someone who gave amazing back rubs but didn't enjoy doing it. If you had to ask them to do it every single time and they never spontaneously gave you one or offered to give you one, wouldn't you feel like they don't want to? But more than that, wouldn't you eventually just stop trying? I mean, it's obvious that back rubs take a toll on them physically and they get nothing out of it, wouldn't it feel like you're forcing them to do it? No one wants to feel like that.

Cervical cancer

What is cervical cancer?
Cervical cancer occurs when abnormal cells on the cervix grow out of control. The cervix is the lower part of the uterus that opens into the vagina. Cervical cancer can often be successfully treated when it's found early. It is usually found at a very early stage through a Pap test.

What causes cervical cancer?
Most cervical cancer is caused by a virus called human papillomavirus, or HPV. You can get HPV by having sexual contact with someone who has it. There are many types of the HPV virus. Not all types of HPV cause cervical cancer. Some of them cause genital warts, but other types may not cause any symptoms. You can have HPV for years and not know it. It stays in your body and can lead to cervical cancer years after you were infected. This is why it is important for you to have regular Pap tests. A Pap test can find changes in cervical cells before they turn into cancer. If you treat these cell changes, you may prevent cervical cancer.

What are the symptoms?
Abnormal cervical cell changes rarely cause symptoms. But you may have symptoms if those cell changes grow into cervical cancer. Symptoms of cervical cancer may include:

Bleeding from the vagina that is not normal, or a change in your menstrual cycle that you can't explain. Bleeding when something comes in contact with your cervix, such as during sex or when you put in a diaphragm. Pain during sex. Vaginal discharge that is tinged with blood.

How is cervical cancer diagnosed? As part of your regular pelvic exam, you should have a Pap test. During a Pap test, the doctor scrapes a small sample of cells from the surface of the cervix to look for cell changes. If a Pap test shows abnormal cell changes, your doctor may do other tests to look for precancerous or cancer cells on your cervix. Your doctor may also do a Pap test and take a sample of tissue (biopsy) if you have symptoms of cervical cancer, such as bleeding after sex.

How is it treated?
Abnormal cervical cell changes rarely cause symptoms. But you may have symptoms if those cell changes grow into cervical cancer. Symptoms of cervical cancer may include:

Bleeding from the vagina that is not normal, or a change in your menstrual cycle that you can't explain. Bleeding when something comes in contact with your cervix, such as during sex or when you put in a diaphragm. Pain during sex. Vaginal discharge that is tinged with blood.

How is it treated?
The treatment for most stages of cervical cancer includes:

Surgery, such as a hysterectomy and removal of pelvic lymph nodes with or without removal of both ovaries and fallopian tubes. Chemotherapy. Radiation therapy. Depending on how much the cancer has grown, you may have one or more treatments. And you may have a combination of treatments. If you have a hysterectomy, you won't be able to have children. But a hysterectomy isn't always needed, especially when cancer is found very early. It's common to feel scared, sad, or angry after finding out that you have cervical cancer. Talking to others who have had the disease may help you feel better. Ask your doctor about support groups in your area. You can also find people online who will share their experiences with you.

Can cervical cancer be prevented? The Pap test is the best way to find cervical cell changes that can lead to cervical cancer. Regular Pap tests almost always show these cell changes before they turn into cancer. It's important to follow up with your doctor after any abnormal Pap test result so you can treat abnormal cell changes. This may help prevent chances of cancer.
If you are age 26 or younger, you can get the HPV vaccine, which protects against two types of HPV that cause cervical cancer. The virus that causes cervical cancer is spread through sexual contact. The best way to avoid getting a sexually transmitted infection is to not have sex. If you do have sex, practice safer sex, such as using condoms and limiting the number of sex partners you have.