Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts

Monday, 18 November 2013

To Masturbate or Not???

Up until now masturbation has always been a topic that stirred a whole lot of controversies whether Religiously, health-wise, physical effect, etc......
Like i have always said, whatever action we decide it is up to us and whether good or bad we are the one to bear the consequences, afterall if you are old enough to have sex you should be old enough to own up to whatever consequences.

Masturbation is the stimulation of the sexual organs usually by a person himself, to obtain an orgasm. Though masturbation can be done by partners on one another, the term is more commonly used when sexual satisfaction is provided by self. Most people use their hands to masturbate, but instruments like vibrators and dildoes may also be used. These imitate the movements of the hand and provide sexual pleasure.

Masturbation is a way of releasing pent up sexual energy. Most people start masturbating at the time of puberty. With changes in an individual's hormonal profile during puberty, there is a surge of sexual energy which can be released with the help of masturbation. Masturbation is reported more in males than in females. More than a physiological difference in libido, this may be due to sociological taboos on females. Females also tend to discontinue or reduce masturbation when they form sexual relationships.

Is masturbation harmful?

This is the biggest myth surrounding masturbation. If indulged in moderation, masturbation, on the contrary, is a healthy practice that releases sexual energy. According to certain religious practices and beliefs, masturbation is harmful since it results in the loss of a man's "seeds" and makes him weak. Masturbation in women has largely been ignored in the religious texts. Other myths surrounding the act are that it reduces virility by making the semen less thick thereby reducing the chances of a man to bear children. This is totally untrue. Masturbation does not cause any loss of strength or virility in a person.

What are the other myths surrounding masturbation?

Only males masturbate ?

this is not true. Females masturbate as much as males do. However, they tend to report it less than males due to the social stigma attached to it. Also it has been observed that females tend to reduce or discontinue masturbation once they get into meaningful sexual relationships.

Masturbation is unhealthy – masturbation per se does not cause any health hazards. It is not an unhealthy habit. However, it may be mentally unhealthy if it assumes obsessive proportions and the individual is unable to think of anything else. It may also have physical repercussions if the instrument used to masturbate is dirty or infected.

Only adolescents masturbate – though the practice usually begins during adolescence, almost all adults practise it at some time or the other.

Masturbation does not provide as much satisfaction as sexual intercourse –sometimes masturbation is more satisfying than the sex act. This is because, during masturbation, an individual is in control of his own movements and can maximize the pleasure according to his or her needs. During sexual intercourse, the degree of satisfaction may, to some extent, lie with the partner.

People masturbate only if they have unfulfilling sexual relationships – people also masturbate for self satisfaction, even when they have fully satisfying sexual relationships.

Can one stop masturbating?

One can stop masturbating if one wants to. Just as one can live without indulging in sex, one can also stop masturbating with some will power. However, since the activity has nothing to be ashamed of and most people do it, there is no scientific reason to discontinue it. If one still wishes to discontinue, then the sexual energy may need to be channelised into alternative physical activities.

Thursday, 26 September 2013

Sex and Self-Esteem

Sex and the idea of someone finding you sexually attractive can be a huge factor in one's self-esteem.

So it's understandable that dating someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction can pose some concern. For me, personally, being found sexually attractive is a big part of my self-esteem (whether that's good or bad.) So how do you reconcile that? I guess you just have to hope that your partner's feelings of love and attraction (sensual, emotional etc.) will be enough to "make up the difference" so to speak. Maybe it will be all for good, and you can separate feeling desired from your self-esteem and learn to not need to feel desired in that way. Wow that sounds depressing but I don't mean it that way. I guess I'm lucky in comparison to other partners of aces I've heard about. My partner doesn't have an aversion to sex, is able to have orgasms and enjoys having it with me. Yet, getting shut down (which will always happen in any relationship) still hurts. It hurts even more considering that getting shut down isn't a matter of your partner not being in the mood, they just don't want it at all. What I feel you need to do is learn how to have sex with an ace, I read that article on this page but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. The reason for this being that it is filled with extreme language and comes across as insulting and insinuating that one simply slip in communication can lead to traumatizing rape that will haunt your partner and give them nightmares for years to come. Okay... Rather than reading some article clearing written by someone who has an ax to grind, have a frank and understanding conversation with your partner and don't make it seem like a) you're insinuating that something is wrong with them or b) like this is some ultimatum. I'm just going to stop rambling and leave with one little bit of advice that I picked up on the ace board: Lots of aces use the "back rub" or massage metaphor when they describe their feelings towards sex. This is perfect because it makes it easier to talk about. If you don't know this metaphor, go ask the ace board. Ask your partner how they feel about it using the back rub metaphor. I guess a common response would be "I like them, but I don't crave them, so I don't ask for them or seek them out." Now if they expect you to understand and accept that, then they should understand your differing views and emotions concerning these back rubs. You could say something like "Hey, I know you feel different, but I love back rubs and I do crave them. more importantly though is that I want you to want to give me back rubs. Imagine if you were dating someone who gave amazing back rubs but didn't enjoy doing it. If you had to ask them to do it every single time and they never spontaneously gave you one or offered to give you one, wouldn't you feel like they don't want to? But more than that, wouldn't you eventually just stop trying? I mean, it's obvious that back rubs take a toll on them physically and they get nothing out of it, wouldn't it feel like you're forcing them to do it? No one wants to feel like that.